Duane Sanders...

Today is the viewing for Duane sanders. It is a hard day for me.

I have stage four cancer but God has truly blessed me. I have three kids that are healthy and eight grandkids that are healthy. I love them all more than anything else in my life. I have a good son in law that takes good care of his family and his kids think the world of him. So he must be good to them. I have a daughter in law that takes care of her babies which is odd for such a young mother. I have Brothers and Sisters who are all very close and love me a lot and I love them all. I have one fantastic ole’ cousin that I found late in my life but has given me so much joy and insight in to my extended family. I also have only a hand full of very close friends of which Jeanie and Duane Sanders were two.

During this past week I have spent some time with Duane’s family and friends and heard various things such as they know Duane has already been over the Alaska waters and caught some big fish. He loved to fish and loved Alaska. I have heard many other such comments coming from people that have known him much longer than the twenty years that I have known him.

We all have an idea of Heaven. The Bible tells us about things but much about Heaven is left up to each one of us to kind of figure out in our own minds. Yes I think we can all agree it is peaceful, calm, and no worries kind of place and one where we all want to end up. I do think Duane Sanders is with God. He was not always a spiritual man but was always a moral man. During his last few weeks he did find God and professed his belief in God as his savior who died on the cross for our sins so we could have ever lasting life. He was Baptized and told me he had found God and God was with him and he had made peace.

I think Duane is in heaven. I think Jeanie’s Mother has been there for years just looking after little Heather until her Daddy could get there. I know Heather is in Heaven because the Bible tells us, ‘Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God,’ and no one is more pure of heart than a three month old baby. So I think Duane took Heather straight from his mother in laws arms and has told her all about her twin sister, her Brother, and her mother. I think he has told her all about their lives and how he has thought about her and missed her every day he has been on earth. I think any fishing he might do will be many days down the road because what is most important to him he now has.

I do not know why Duane’s death has hit me so hard. Perhaps because I too am looking God square in the face these days and know I will be held accountable for all of my sins. Perhaps it is because I only have a hand full of good friends and when you loose even one, percentage wise that is a big loss. Whatever the reason I am feeling this way I hope Duane is resting in peace and I miss my dear friend more than I thought possible.