Fleta said...
Well, then, make a list of the things you would like to do that ARE possible and start at the top.
I always thought Fleta was the smartest one of all of us so I took her advice...
Mackenzie will be flying into Phoenix 10/24 and I will be enrolling her into the Val Vista Lakes Elementary School. She will attend the rest of the 09-10 school year living here with me. She will fly home for Christmas and spring break.
Bet that wasn't exactly what you had in mind was it Sis?
Well, then, make a list of the things you would like to do that ARE possible and start at the top.
I always thought Fleta was the smartest one of all of us so I took her advice...
Mackenzie will be flying into Phoenix 10/24 and I will be enrolling her into the Val Vista Lakes Elementary School. She will attend the rest of the 09-10 school year living here with me. She will fly home for Christmas and spring break.
Bet that wasn't exactly what you had in mind was it Sis?
11 comments:
No, that was not what I had in mind. Bet she won't be there 2 weeks before she is home sick for her babies and wants to go home. At one time I had grandchildren live with me. It was a mistake. When my children fell down in their parenting duties, my first reaction was to take over. My reaction should have been to let my children deal with the total conquences of their bad decisions. I can not save my children from themselves. When it comes to major life decisions, babies should be and need to be told what to do. Not asked to solve the problem themselves. Babies are not equipted to make major life decisions. Sadly, sometimes adults are equally ill equipted.
Well, Helen, don't worry...you can always fix this decision by letting her go back home. Just let her know that the door back home is open. Enjoy her and let sister Fleta go blah, blah, blah. teehee
I think I'd have more of a problem with the parents allowing it, than with the child wanting to do it.
I am glad you are doing what you want to do. This will be good for the both of you I know you two have a special bond. Your circumstances are different than most anyone elses so you can not know how anything will turnout till you try. We know she will miss her Family and they will miss her but they can chat on the computer and send photos back and forth. Victoria would look at this as blessing for sure. We go way out in the country on Wednesday nights to pick up this girl and take her to Church. Tim went with us last night and after we dropped her off here came all the questions from Tim: whats her Mom like, have you meet her Aunt and Uncle, who is her grandmother. I knew the answers already and Victoria was upset you could hear it in here voice when she said her Mom doesn't want her and she took a bus to get here to live with her grandmother. After that comment we said you are a good person Victoria you put others before yourself.
well there is no problem with Mackenzie and her parents... They have been doing a great job. She gets along well in school has some good friends....But I basically raised this girl till she was two..and even after that she stayed with me at least one night a week...we lived 3 miles apart she was here a lot..we do do have a special bond. Her parents are buying a house in another town soon....probably be moving in Jan and she would have to change schools anyway that is the only reason I would consider it. She is 10 and will be a little homesick maybe....but we will be busy. and she will be going home every 2 weeks.....when they first moved a little over a year ago she cried for me every day...for over a month..Kris thought about sending her back to stay a while then...I did not know this till just now.She will be 11 in Feb. and she is at the age I can teach her and tell her things she will remember all of her life.Betty said in her post a few weeks ago 'she has work to do' well I now have work to do..I am better than I was back there in June I think my health will hold out at least another 7 months..I think this time will make her feel very special and boost her self esteem...I had been thinking of this for months, ever since I have been feeling good...but did not want her to be taken out of school then when I mentioned it to kris yesterday that is when I was told they will be moving to a new town before school ends..I think she will miss her brothers and sisters more than anything....the school system here is ahead of there...we will have to work hard to catch up so if I keep her even a month and have to send her back she will not be behind in school back there..
I still have some connections at VVL school and I am going there early this morning...
It is not even that I think I can do a better job parenting than her parents But I can give her individual attention and a good since of who she is and the blood lines where she came from...I just do not see that there is anything bad that can come from a grandparent showing her first grand child she is so special to her...
every 2 months we are sending her home not every 2 weeks...
I don't think Darrel and I are bad parents. He works hard to give us what he cand and I realized this when I asked the kids to make a list this year for Chirstmas. Not a one of them had anything major on the list. I kept thinking, surely there is something bigger (usually they get one big item (100 - $150) and some smaller items ($20 or under) none of them knew of anything they wanted that big. I said "are you kidding, you can't think of anything?" and the three bigger ones said, "no, we have just about anything big we could think of wanting" - Melissa always said you should only have a kid you can afford to pay for and while we don't have their money setting in the bank to pay for their whole life, we have done a good job providing for them so far.
Buying them things is not everything anyways. I think we have done a good job with raising them to be responsible adults too... (which to me is the goal of having kids) I have tried to keep in mind every since mom found out she was sick, that you don't have all the time in the world and to enjoy what time you do have. I have tried to do this up here. Things are not always spottless in our house, and they don't always get to do everything they want, but they do know that we love them very much and that we are always there for them if they need us. We try to do little things for each so they know they are special and teach that while everything is not equal in this house, things are fair. I have tried to spend more quality time with each of them and have those "special moments" that they will remember.
I realized how lucky I am because I can look back and pick out any day of my childhood and while I may remember being mad, sad, or happy, I also can always remember my mom being there and being involved in whatever it was. I then look at Kaylin who's mother has not always been there even for the major things and still chooses to be involved selectively and I know that I will always have those memories to think of and know that I am loved. Mackenzie needs to have these memories with her grandma because she has a lot of years ahead of her to be without her grandma! I want her to be able to look back and remember things about her. Even with as little as I was around grandma and grandpa I still remember small things about them.
I also believe that mom will be well the whole time Mackenzie is there because mom's life is taking care of her kids and grandkids. Different people have different things that they live for. Grandma always lived for Grandpa. She was never the same after he died and I remember visiting her when I was an older teenager and I remember thinking that she had nothing to live for. She was just waiting to go. I am sure she loved her kids and she loved lots of things but she lived for her husband and when he was gone she didn't know what to do. Mom, lived for her kids, when they were gone, she lived for her grandkids until she got so sick that she couldn't take care of them and then she realized that she had nothing to live for. We have tried to when she is feeling better giver her the time with the older kids (Kenzie, Austin) and even Betina has been good about this because the older ones are pretty self sufficient and take minimal care from her but yet she feels she is able to do things with them. I hope they both make the best of the time they get together. I know I wish I had this chance with my mom again.
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